The Fear of Change: Why It Happens and How to Move Through It
Change is a natural part of life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Whether it's a shift in career, relationships, routines, or personal identity, change can bring up a mix of emotions, from fear and uncertainty to excitement and possibility.
This blog explores the common fears we experience around change and offers practical, compassionate strategies to help you move through life transitions with greater clarity and self-kindness.
Common Fears Surrounding Change:
The Fear of Leaving Our Comfort Zone
Humans thrive on comfort. We create “comfort zones” for ourselves and tend to exist in them. When change occurs, our comfort levels are tested. But to grow, we often have to step outside of that bubble. This may lead to feelings of discomfort. So, try to get comfortable with not being comfortable. Often, discomfort leads to growth; discomfort allows our confidence to grow in relation to our ability to do the hard things.
The Fear of the Unknown
With change often comes uncertainty. We may not know what the next steps will look like, and that can feel scary. The mind likes predictability, so uncertainty can trigger anxiety and doubt. Try to reframe the fear you’re feeling about the unknown. Could there be something beautiful about not having everything completely mapped out for you? It’s your life; you’re in the driver’s seat, and you’re able to make choices for yourself that align with what you want.
The Fear of Losing Control
Change disrupts our routines. Our day-to-day might shift, and that can trigger a fear of losing control. One way to challenge this fear is by creating a new routine. What else can you do that feels meaningful to you? What are ways you can fill your time that allow for a happier, healthier version of you? Even when change occurs, rituals and traditions can still serve as an anchor.
The Fear of Our Identity Changing
Our identities are often tied to the roles we play. When these roles shift, our existential thoughts also get louder. We may question aspects of our identity: who we are, what our purpose is, and whether we have enough time to get things done. As you experience change, try to connect with who you are without these roles. What values are important to you? How can you stay true to these values, even when change occurs?
The Fear of Failure (or Success)
With change comes risk. Sometimes, we’re scared we’ll fail. Other times, we’re scared we’ll succeed. Either way, we’re scared that things won’t be the same. Having this fear can prevent us from achieving cool things. This fear is often connected to a fear of being vulnerable. To challenge this, try to reflect on your inner dialogue. Are the stories you’re telling yourself grounded in truth or fear?
Navigating Change with Compassion:
1. Acknowledge What’s Changing
Sometimes, change comes suddenly. Other times, we have months to prepare. Whatever your situation is, take time to acknowledge what’s shifting. Some people may avoid thinking about the change because it feels too overwhelming. Others may go into autopilot, jumping straight into the next thing without giving themselves space to process.
If the change brings up grief, allow yourself to feel it. If it brings up relief or hope, acknowledge that, too. Take a moment to reflect on how your life is going to look different, and what you might need to support yourself through it.
2. Allow Yourself to Be Present
When change happens, the part of our mind that worries about the future often gets louder. We may start questioning our decisions or panicking about what comes next. In these moments, remind yourself to return to the present. Yes, it's important to plan and think ahead, but don’t forget to look after yourself in the here and now. Even if you don’t know exactly what’s next, give yourself permission to care and look after yourself today.
3. Create Room for Hope
When we’re facing uncertainty or change, remaining hopeful can feel hard. But try to create a little room for hope and don't completely shut down the possibility of good things occurring. Allow yourself permission to dream. Allow yourself to have hopes for the future. Then, take the steps you need to get there. Start with small, realistic goals and continue working toward your goal in a way that feels achievable for you.
4. Remember Your Strength
When change feels hard, remind yourself of your resilience. Chances are, this isn’t the first time you’ve experienced a transition. Take time to acknowledge the different changes you’ve been through and reflect on how you’ve coped. When we’re experiencing change, it’s easy to start doubting our ability to handle it. But you’ve experienced transitions before, and you are capable of handling them now.
5. Lean on Your Support System
We need connection - we need support. You don’t have to go through change alone. People in your life have probably experienced something similar, so try to let them in! Share what’s coming up for you. Sometimes being heard can be extremely validating.
Change is inevitable, but how we meet it makes all the difference. You can move through transitions with resilience and hope by understanding your fears, creating space for your emotions, and leaning on your strengths and support systems. Be patient with yourself as you adapt, and remember: growth often begins where your comfort zone ends.
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