What No One Tells You About Your 20s and 30s: Gentle Reminders for Young Adulthood
Young adulthood can be this really interesting coming-of-age period, where it feels like everything and nothing is changing all at once. Here are some of our favourite words of wisdom and things to remember as you authentically navigate your unique journey.
Your thoughts aren’t always facts.
Just because you think something doesn’t mean it is true. This can be helpful to remember if you’re experiencing negative self-talk or self-doubt. We can sometimes think things about ourselves that are not kind, and these thoughts can shape the decisions we make and how we view ourselves.
But not every thought we have is a fact. On average, we can have up to 60,000 thoughts per day. Sometimes, the harsher, more critical thoughts we have feel louder and more prominent. We may feel like we have to listen to these thoughts, but we do not.
It can be helpful to view your thoughts as different trains in a train station. You’re the passenger, and you get to decide what train you want to get on. So, make room for positive thoughts. Pay attention to them when they come and continue to allow them to grow and develop.
Self-love needs to be a priority.
To actively practice self-love requires internal work, difficult conversations, and the ability to be open to healing. Self-love isn’t always easy, and the journey to self-love is not linear.
To actually practice self-love, make sure that in every decision you make, you’re being kind to yourself. Whether it’s something as small as deciding what you want for breakfast, or something bigger like choosing your career path, take the time to ask yourself, “Am I loving myself in this decision?” Using self-love as a guide for your behaviours takes practice. But it’s a good way to constantly check in with yourself and make sure that you’re living a life that is actually aligned with your true values and goals.
You don’t have to be pretty like them; you can be pretty like you.
It can be so easy to fall into comparison traps. We may start to compare ourselves to our siblings, our friends, or even random people we see on social media. Comparison culture may make us believe that, for some reason, we’re not enough. We may start to believe that we need to change certain aspects of ourselves to be more liked. But really, the most beautiful thing is being your authentic self. So, try your hardest to stop comparing yourself to anyone. Try and create room for you to be the best version of yourself. Remember that just because someone else is shining doesn’t mean that you can’t. Someone else's beauty or experience does not add or take away from your own.
Societal timelines aren’t real.
In your 20s and your 30s, you will often feel like you’re not doing enough. You may feel like you haven’t achieved as much as you had planned, you’re not making as much money as you hoped, or your relationship isn’t exactly where you wanted it to be. You may feel this way because of maladaptive societal expectations. But really, there’s no specific timeline that you need to live by.
Young adulthood is about exploring your identity and learning more about who you want to be. To have the expectation that you should have it all figured out is unfair and unrealistic. Create your own timeline for yourself and be gentle when things don’t go exactly as planned. As cliché as it sounds, try to enjoy the journey without solely focusing on the destination.
The best things can happen when you put yourself out of your comfort zone.
Think about your happiest memories. Think about your favourite experiences. Think about the times you’ve made yourself proud. Chances are, at least some of these events involved you putting yourself out of your comfort zone.
To keep life exciting, you need to constantly allow your comfort levels to grow and expand. So, take risks whenever you can!! Say yes to the things you want to do, even if that little voice of worry in your mind is trying to convince you otherwise. Your future self will definitely be grateful.
You are worthy of good things.
You are so worthy of good things. What do you need to start believing this? Our beliefs about ourselves can hold us back. The belief that our lives can only be so good can prevent great things from happening to us. Often, the bad things that we’ve experienced can make us feel like we’re not “destined” for the happy endings we pictured for ourselves as children. Even if the cards you were dealt feel unfair, allow yourself the gift of hoping and wishing and constantly trying to make this life what you want it to be.
Your 20s and 30s can be fun, scary, lonely, and exciting all at the same time. What are some words of wisdom or pieces of advice that have resonated with you?
Ready to prioritize your mental health and well-being? MSC Therapy offers specialized psychotherapy services for young adult women in New York and Florida. Mollie provides compassionate, client-centered, and supportive therapy to help clients navigate anxiety, low self-esteem, disordered eating, body image concerns, OCD, relationship issues, dating, school or career stress, perfectionism, and life transitions. Services are available virtually, allowing for convenient and accessible support. Reach out now to take the first steps toward a more balanced life.