What Love Island Reveals About Us: A Therapist’s Perspective
"On paper,” Love Island may not seem like it has a lot to do with therapy or mental health. But week after week, the show offers a surprisingly raw look into how we love, protect ourselves, and try to feel chosen. From a therapist's perspective, there's a lot to unpack under the drama.
"Every Relationship Needs a Test"… Or Does It?
On the show, contestants often say things like, "I needed this test to realize how I really feel." In real life, sometimes obstacles or challenges can bring couples closer or help them realize what they want. But not every healthy relationship needs to be tested to prove its strength. In fact, some of the most secure, connected relationships are the ones that aren't put through tests. Sometimes tests aren't needed or don't form, because the roots of the relationship are grounded in trust, safety, and mutual admiration.
From a therapist's perspective, the idea that love needs chaos to be meaningful often comes from early relational patterns. If we've learned that love only shows up after pain or proving, we might unconsciously seek out relationships that mirror that. But secure love doesn't need to be tested. It just needs to be nurtured.
“I'm Not Putting All My Eggs in One Basket”
In Love Island, this phrase is thrown around when someone is not ready to commit. And it makes sense. In an environment where trust builds quickly and people are constantly choosing and re-choosing each other, self-protection may feel necessary. Saying you're not putting all your eggs in one basket can be a way to stay in control and to avoid risk.
But in therapy, we often explore what it means to actually make decisions for yourself. In therapy, we may explore what it would actually look like to show up fully for one person and allow yourself to be seen in return. Sometimes, putting your eggs in one basket is brave. It can be a way of manifesting clarity, commitment, and a clear path forward. Of course, there's always the risk that it won’t work out, but with that risk also comes the potential for something real and grounded. Taking that can also help you develop confidence in yourself, what you need, and your ability to make choices.
“100% My Type on Paper”
This is a Love Island classic. In real life, we all may have a “type.” Our types can be based on looks, personalities, or even emotional patterns that we’re drawn to (sometimes consciously, sometimes not).
But both on the show and in life, we often see people gravitate toward their “type on paper,” only to realize that something is actually missing. It’s worth exploring the origins of your “type.” Sometimes, we’re chasing dynamics that feel familiar, even if they're not always healthy. When deciding if you want to be in a relationship or who you want to be in a relationship with, it can be helpful to ask: Does this make me feel good, seen, and safe? Or is it just familiar?
Love Bombing ≠ Love
Every season, there's someone who goes all in, and couples who are “closed off” right from the start. And often, those relationships aren’t sustainable. A pattern we’ve seen repeatedly is love bombing. Love bombing refers to intense compliments, big promises, and declarations of love that sometimes feel just a bit too early and inauthentic. Initially, it can feel flattering. Like you’re finally being seen. However, it often leads to a quick end, which can result in significant pain. It hurts to feel chosen, only to have that taken away from you.
From a therapist's perspective, intensity doesn't equal intimacy. Love bombing might feel good in the moment, but it’s not rooted in consistency, care, or emotional safety. Real connection doesn't grow that fast. It takes time. It builds slowly, through presence, respect, and trust. Recognize the signs of love bombing. Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Your intuition is worth listening to.
Fear of Vulnerability
One of the most relatable parts of Love Island is how scared people are to open up. Contestants talk about not wanting to be "mugged off,". Because of this, they may keep things in and not express how they are really feeling. But underneath the worry of being “mugged off” is usually a deeper fear of rejection or a fear of not being enough.
As humans, shame stops us from being vulnerable. We think that if we really express how we feel, people will walk away. But vulnerability is actually the foundation of intimacy. It's the foundation of any strong relationship. It's what allows us to be truly known. Being vulnerable can help us grow and feel safe, even if it’s not always comfortable.
“Crying Is Weak”
This season, especially, there's been this unspoken (and sometimes spoken) message that being emotional or sensitive is a bad thing, that tears are weak, that you should hold it all together. But crying isn’t weak. It’s human.
Crying is sometimes your body's way of processing something it doesn’t yet have words for. It’s a form of release. And in relationships, being able to cry in front of someone you feel safe with is actually a strength. It means you trust them. In therapy, we often explore what your tears are trying to say. Tears can be a signal, and they’re usually pointing you toward something important. You’re not weak. You’re aware.
Meet People “Where They’re At”
One of the most common dynamics on the show is when someone feels like they're waiting for their partner to “catch up”. One partner is waiting for the other to be ready, to open up, to commit. This can be particularly painful because it reminds us that even if there's potential, timing is crucial. Readiness matters.
As therapists, we often emphasize the importance of meeting people where they are, not where we want them to be. That doesn't mean you settle or lower your standards. It just means you're honest with yourself about reality. If someone isn't ready to give you what you need, it may not be in your best interest to wait around hoping they'll change. If someone shows you who they are and what they are about, the best thing you can do for yourself is believe them.
Being a “Girl’s Girl”
On Love Island, the idea of being a “girl's girl” comes up quite a bit. The phrase is often used to discuss boundaries or the unspoken rules of what is considered acceptable behavior.
From a therapist's perspective, being a girl’s girl isn't always black and white. Every friendship, every dynamic, is different. What matters is that the boundaries you have for each other are spoken about, and not just assumed. What we do know is this: being a girl’s girl shouldn't mean shrinking yourself to make others more comfortable. It shouldn't mean abandoning your truth just to avoid conflict. And it definitely shouldn't be performative.
Love Island may be entertainment, but it taps into something real: the messy, tender, confusing world of connection. Behind the drama and the recouplings are real questions: Am I enough? Will someone choose me? Is it safe to love?
Ready to prioritize your mental health and well-being? MSC Therapy offers specialized psychotherapy services for young adult women in New York and Florida. Mollie provides compassionate, client-centered, and supportive therapy to help clients navigate anxiety, low self-esteem, disordered eating, body image concerns, OCD, relationship issues, dating, school or career stress, perfectionism, and life transitions. Services are available virtually, allowing for convenient and accessible support. Reach out now to take the first steps toward a more balanced life.